Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Forgotten Treasures
I’ve been tidying up my room today. Since I seem to have ended up doing it more thoroughly than usual, I keep coming across things I’d either forgotten about or thought I’d long since thrown away. For instance my original signed Spice Girls picture that Marion got for me one time when Emma (Baby Spice) visited the ward Marion was working on. I’m sure Marion won’t mind if I flog it on EBay. It’s spent its whole "life" in one cupboard or another. Don’t get me wrong, I was really chuffed about it, it was just that I had no idea what one did with an autographed picture of a band one quite likes… It was one of the things I thought I’d probably thrown away in the end ;-)
Other things include a diary containing embarrassing ten year old confessions and whingeings and also some mind-boggling poetry which I might publish in a future post (might need to create a new label ‘cringe’ for it). And also a little magical tale I wrote for English class once upon a time. I guess I must have been around fourteen or fifteen. I vaguely remember the point being to practice using adjectives. Remember this was in Switzerland, the rest of the class needed to learn English (although judging from some of the spelling and some of the bizarre sentences, so did I!). Anyway, there was a minimum number of different adjectives you had to use in your tale… (that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!)
Magic (No, clearly I didn’t spend too long thinking up an original title for my masterpiece)
Once upon a time, many centuries ago in a deep dark forest there was a little cottage in which a very old man with a long white beard lived. With him lived a tame eagle who guarded the house for him.
In the woods around the cottage there housed a big dangerous wolf. He had come from another forest near a huge castle in a little neighbouring kingdom named Grinokia. The wolf was a good friend of a nasty old witch who lived near the river on the other side of the woods.
In the very centre of the forest, where the trees were the thickest and it was as dark as night, there was a big cave. At the very back of this cave, where if you looked back you couldn’t see the entrance, the wolf had hidden an immense treasure which he had stolen from the castle. The most memorable object was a magic sword. It was long and thin but made of a strong material that was impossible to break. Embedded in the hilt was a beutifully clear blue sapphire. Because of the rich green glow that surrounded the whole sword it was obvious even to a person who knew nothing about such things that this was a very powerful magic object. But although the blue stone in the middle of it and the rare material made the weapon very costly, the most valuable piece of treasure was a small ring. It was made of pure gold and in the middle, surrounded by ten small but clear emeralds was the most lovely ruby you have ever seen.
Now in the middle of the same river the witch lived by, there was a little island. In the tunnels under the island there housed a cruel and greedy dragon who lived on the rats, mice and rabbits he found in the tunnels. On lucky days he might come across a mole or a badger but badgers were seldom in that part of the world. For years the dragon had tried to steal the treasure but because of the magic spell the witch had woven over it he had never succeeded. But now after he had journey a long way to find another witch who could break the spell he had a magic ring that had been given to him in the top room of a tower in a very distant land on the other side of a vast ocean.
So the dragon crept through the tunnels to the cave and touched the treasure. Immediatly the dragon was turned intoa beautiful princess. As she now remembered what had happened she took the magic sword in her arms and ran though the forest to the cottage. When she got there she called the bird inside and gave the old man the sword. Inmidst a great clap of thunder he changed back into a prince and the bird vanished. The prince lifted the sword and there, in the sapphire was ingraved the picture of a proud eagle in full flight.
On the dragon’s island there lived a small frog who had been instructed by the eagle to keep an eye on the great scaley beast. So he had followed the dragon everywhere, even over the sea on his flying carpet. Of course he had seen what had happened to the dragon the old man and the eagle and he decided to go and tell the prince’s father that his son was safe and sound and that he was bringing his bride back to the castle to get married. So the faithful frog got on his magic carpet and set off to look for the king. Quite soon he saw the royal carriage beneath him and asked the carpet to fly lower. When a flying carpet with a frog sitting on it swooped down on the carriage out of nowhere the king and his followers were most startled. But as the frog tried to climb through the window, the king began to screach. “Help! Help! Get it off!” he yelled. At once the royal guards attacked but the frog was already inside. “Please, your Majesty I have news of your son.” The king almost fainted: “Oh my sainted aunt, it speaks!” Then, as he realised what the frog had said: “My son? What of him? How is he?” As quickly as he could, the frog explained the situation. The royal horses were made to go their fastest so that the king would be back at the castle before the prince. Once he had arrived there the king set all his servants to preparing the wedding. As soon as the young couple arrived the wedding sermon began.
They had many sweet children and lived happily ever after.
Goodness me!
I’ve purposely copied the original spelling, phrasing and punctuation for maximum entertainment value, but man it was hard not to correct it! And the temptation to write scathing comments everywhere… astronomical! But I decided (very reluctantly) not to disturb the flow. But I’m sure you can imagine the missing asides more or less accurately…
Other things include a diary containing embarrassing ten year old confessions and whingeings and also some mind-boggling poetry which I might publish in a future post (might need to create a new label ‘cringe’ for it). And also a little magical tale I wrote for English class once upon a time. I guess I must have been around fourteen or fifteen. I vaguely remember the point being to practice using adjectives. Remember this was in Switzerland, the rest of the class needed to learn English (although judging from some of the spelling and some of the bizarre sentences, so did I!). Anyway, there was a minimum number of different adjectives you had to use in your tale… (that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!)
Magic (No, clearly I didn’t spend too long thinking up an original title for my masterpiece)
Once upon a time, many centuries ago in a deep dark forest there was a little cottage in which a very old man with a long white beard lived. With him lived a tame eagle who guarded the house for him.
In the woods around the cottage there housed a big dangerous wolf. He had come from another forest near a huge castle in a little neighbouring kingdom named Grinokia. The wolf was a good friend of a nasty old witch who lived near the river on the other side of the woods.
In the very centre of the forest, where the trees were the thickest and it was as dark as night, there was a big cave. At the very back of this cave, where if you looked back you couldn’t see the entrance, the wolf had hidden an immense treasure which he had stolen from the castle. The most memorable object was a magic sword. It was long and thin but made of a strong material that was impossible to break. Embedded in the hilt was a beutifully clear blue sapphire. Because of the rich green glow that surrounded the whole sword it was obvious even to a person who knew nothing about such things that this was a very powerful magic object. But although the blue stone in the middle of it and the rare material made the weapon very costly, the most valuable piece of treasure was a small ring. It was made of pure gold and in the middle, surrounded by ten small but clear emeralds was the most lovely ruby you have ever seen.
Now in the middle of the same river the witch lived by, there was a little island. In the tunnels under the island there housed a cruel and greedy dragon who lived on the rats, mice and rabbits he found in the tunnels. On lucky days he might come across a mole or a badger but badgers were seldom in that part of the world. For years the dragon had tried to steal the treasure but because of the magic spell the witch had woven over it he had never succeeded. But now after he had journey a long way to find another witch who could break the spell he had a magic ring that had been given to him in the top room of a tower in a very distant land on the other side of a vast ocean.
So the dragon crept through the tunnels to the cave and touched the treasure. Immediatly the dragon was turned intoa beautiful princess. As she now remembered what had happened she took the magic sword in her arms and ran though the forest to the cottage. When she got there she called the bird inside and gave the old man the sword. Inmidst a great clap of thunder he changed back into a prince and the bird vanished. The prince lifted the sword and there, in the sapphire was ingraved the picture of a proud eagle in full flight.
On the dragon’s island there lived a small frog who had been instructed by the eagle to keep an eye on the great scaley beast. So he had followed the dragon everywhere, even over the sea on his flying carpet. Of course he had seen what had happened to the dragon the old man and the eagle and he decided to go and tell the prince’s father that his son was safe and sound and that he was bringing his bride back to the castle to get married. So the faithful frog got on his magic carpet and set off to look for the king. Quite soon he saw the royal carriage beneath him and asked the carpet to fly lower. When a flying carpet with a frog sitting on it swooped down on the carriage out of nowhere the king and his followers were most startled. But as the frog tried to climb through the window, the king began to screach. “Help! Help! Get it off!” he yelled. At once the royal guards attacked but the frog was already inside. “Please, your Majesty I have news of your son.” The king almost fainted: “Oh my sainted aunt, it speaks!” Then, as he realised what the frog had said: “My son? What of him? How is he?” As quickly as he could, the frog explained the situation. The royal horses were made to go their fastest so that the king would be back at the castle before the prince. Once he had arrived there the king set all his servants to preparing the wedding. As soon as the young couple arrived the wedding sermon began.
They had many sweet children and lived happily ever after.
Goodness me!
I’ve purposely copied the original spelling, phrasing and punctuation for maximum entertainment value, but man it was hard not to correct it! And the temptation to write scathing comments everywhere… astronomical! But I decided (very reluctantly) not to disturb the flow. But I’m sure you can imagine the missing asides more or less accurately…
Labels: chuckles, i'm special, literary genius?
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