I am NOT SWISS and I DON'T SOUND SWISS either!

just got a very annoying mail from the president of the feldmeilen volleyball club about how i haven't added the stuff about the seniors to the website and also that i should say that it's a club and they're always short of gymnasts and not just volleyball players. so it's fair enough that she's wondering why the website still doesn't say anything about the seniors' team, i 've been meaning to do it for ages. but i designed the website around the one team. it took me ages to work out the concept and how to organise all the information. no one else was in the least interested, so eventually i just did it the way it made most sense to me. now i'm supposed to add information that has nothing to do with the team i designed the whole thing around, so to me it called for adding an extra page and thinking about how to do it, so that the whole site is still user-friendly (or at least no less so than at the moment). it's just been to much for me, i couldn't face it. and now i've lost the information.

but now she wants to add stuff that's not even about volleyball?! fine. whatever. i've asked her to send me all the information she wants added in the format she wants it to go in and i'll just stick it in where-ever. i've completely lost the will to care. i hate volleyball right now. and that email's just killed my motivation stone dead (and i was doing so well!) so i'm going to post about last night (with the meilen team), i meant to anyway.

it looks like i'll be looking for a new team end of this season. or maybe even a new sport. i don't want to continue in either of the teams i'm in now. but i guess i'm looking for something that doesn't exist: a team full of people who want to win and are willing to put in the effort, but at the same time don't freak out and start verbally attacking each other when they have a loosing streak. we lost again last night. crud. but not particularly surprising. what was surprising (and rather horrifying) was the way that after the match some of our players accused the rest of us of not trying hard enough, of going on court with the attitude 'we're going to lose anyway' and not bothering to play our best. obviously, that's not such a horrifying thing to accuse someone of, it was their tone. just vicious. i don't deal well with vicious tones. it makes me either want to attack back or sulk. especially when i'm being told off for something i didn't do! i can't go on court and not try my hardest even when i've got a broken finger! i want to punch something (or someone). how dare they. i'm not sure i want to go out on that court again with people like that. i don't mind losing (obviously i mind a bit), as long as i know we tried our hardest to win and i always do (try my hardest to win, not lose)! but i do mind when...

it was suggested that somehow, team spirit was what we were missing. well, my spirit for that team just left. i quit. as soon as possible. damn! i hate looking for new teams!

there goes one of my reasons for looking for a job in switzerland. stupid volleyball. what other sports are there? football - i'll kick myself as soon as the ball; basketball - i only hit the basket when i'm aiming for something completely different (for instance if i'm trying to play volleyball); hockey - similar problam as in football except more dangerous to other people with the stick... i'd only be any use in either of them as goalie and i need more exercise, not less; handball - lack of aiming ability again a problem... crud. i like volleyball really. there's just something wrong with my teams. oh dear, it's probably wrong with me, not them. double-crud!

the other team (feldmeilen) have decided to try and pull themselves together and actually make an effort in training. peter (the coach) read my blog and they discussed it are trying to fix the problem. what a horrible moment when he told me he'd read it! and told them about it! but i went back over everything i've written and it turns out i was very... restrained ;-) thank goodness for that :-)

so hopefully things will be getting better there. but i can't imagine i'll change my mind about quitting once the season's finished. although i can imagine being to cowardly to actually do it. aw crap. i hope not!

it's typical: last time the matches clashed, i'd promised to play for feldmeilen even though i'd much rather have played with meilen. in a couple of weeks there are two matches on the same night again and this time i've promised to play with meilen. but after last night, i'd rather break a leg than have to go on court with them again... seriously.

Labels: arrgghh, volleyball

posted by Vickster at 17:15.