Monday, April 21, 2008
more music-y not-so-goodness
played in church again yesterday. in spite of the fact that i've been down as playing on that date for about a month, i finally got the names of the songs on wednesday after a spate of emails going 'are you available to play the piano?'... just the names of the songs mind, and for four of the nine the books the music's in. except we've only got one of the two books listed. so the person in charge says she'll send me the rest of the music. by post...
i get a large envelope on friday containing five songs, including one of the two i already had, and a note saying 'sorry, i haven't got the music for the other two.' and she couldn't have told me this by email on wednesday when she promised to send the music? or on thursday when she got ready to send the music, noticed there were some missing, wrote a note about it and posted it to me? a little time bomb to brighten up my friday...
and what about the third missing song that she's just decided not to mention at all?!
i start stomping around, swearing about how i'm never playing with these people again... how come nobody ever understands that I NEED THE EFFING MUSIC IN ADVANCE IT MAY BE A COMPLETELY ALIEN CONCEPT TO YOU BUT I LIKE TO EFFING PRACTICE AND IF I DON'T HAVE THE BLOODY MUSIC UNTIL FRIDAY NIGHT I END UP DOING MY WRISTS IN! and i loose the will to ever play the piano again except for my own enjoyment when nobody else is around...
anyway, i phone the pastor's wife ruth in a panic, assuming that since she's the one who chose the songs, she's probably got some kind of music for them. luckily she also happens to be my brother's girlfriend's mum. so i had the full set of music when i got up saturday morning (or midday, whatever). finally! of course the songs i got last were the hardest to play, how could it have been any other way...
ruth didn't have the music for the last missing song. eventually i managed to calm myself down (i was fine on the phone to ruth, maybe a little frazzled, but since the whole music debacle wasn't her fault there was no reason to be angry at her and i'm pretty sure i was perfectly polite) and had a look through some of the books and found the song. luckily ruth had sung it to me over the phone, so i knew it was the right one. thing is, people are running out of good song titles, so sometimes you find you've learnt the wrong 'holy, holy' (seriously, there are about three songs in ONE BOOK that have that title!)
i think i've lost my train of thought. where was i?
anyway, all the feedback said the music sounded great (except for one moron who told me the piano was too quiet and i should play louder. he got growled at for trying to be funny while i was trying not to unleash a stream of neverending music-playing-hating abuse into the general atmosphere...) which is good. but i just felt... awful, angry, frustrated, depressed, did i mention angry?
at band practice i managed to explain that i NEED THE FLIPPING MUSIC AT THE LATEST ON WEDNESDAY AND THAT'S ONLY CAUSE I CAN TELL YOU OBVIOUSLY CAN'T SURVIVE BY YOUR WITS ALONE ...oops the subject makes me angry and i've been reading dilbert books... i meant it's obviously too much to ask for a full week, so i'll compromise by allowing for wednesday (even when they promise a full week i get it on tuesday if i'm lucky). i managed to say it calmly and hopefully non-confrontationally. but i was too stressed over it to use the usual diplomatic 'it's my problem not yours, but could you please help me with it?' tactic. cause in this case i really don't see why it's too much to ask. how come i'm the only one practicing anyway?! to me, not to practice would be disrespectful. but i guess they don't see it that way.
anyway, i managed to tell them in a mostly positive way, so hopefully they'll remember and be aware of my need for timely provision of the music, for the time being...
since i'm playing again this sunday coming, but with a different group of people, i thought it might be best to give advance warning rather than turn round afterwards and say 'the music is late, i'm not playing!' cause none of them was in church yesterday i had to send an email. i hate sending emails about stuff like this. it's much harder to tell whether it's coming across properly or not. i hope they don't take it the wrong way...
urgh, life is difficult sometimes. especially when you have a temper like mine and are supposed to be all loving and christian... you know, during the 'worship' (that's what the singing-songs part of the service is called) the band members are meant to be chanelling the holy spirit so that the congregation will be touched, according to the band leaders. while this is a worthy thought, the only spirit i tend to chanel is definitely not holy... i have to count it as a success when i manage to restrain myself from thumping the keys angrily during mellow songs after some new screw up... (so far i've always succeeded, but it's been a close thing every time)
i get a large envelope on friday containing five songs, including one of the two i already had, and a note saying 'sorry, i haven't got the music for the other two.' and she couldn't have told me this by email on wednesday when she promised to send the music? or on thursday when she got ready to send the music, noticed there were some missing, wrote a note about it and posted it to me? a little time bomb to brighten up my friday...
and what about the third missing song that she's just decided not to mention at all?!
i start stomping around, swearing about how i'm never playing with these people again... how come nobody ever understands that I NEED THE EFFING MUSIC IN ADVANCE IT MAY BE A COMPLETELY ALIEN CONCEPT TO YOU BUT I LIKE TO EFFING PRACTICE AND IF I DON'T HAVE THE BLOODY MUSIC UNTIL FRIDAY NIGHT I END UP DOING MY WRISTS IN! and i loose the will to ever play the piano again except for my own enjoyment when nobody else is around...
anyway, i phone the pastor's wife ruth in a panic, assuming that since she's the one who chose the songs, she's probably got some kind of music for them. luckily she also happens to be my brother's girlfriend's mum. so i had the full set of music when i got up saturday morning (or midday, whatever). finally! of course the songs i got last were the hardest to play, how could it have been any other way...
ruth didn't have the music for the last missing song. eventually i managed to calm myself down (i was fine on the phone to ruth, maybe a little frazzled, but since the whole music debacle wasn't her fault there was no reason to be angry at her and i'm pretty sure i was perfectly polite) and had a look through some of the books and found the song. luckily ruth had sung it to me over the phone, so i knew it was the right one. thing is, people are running out of good song titles, so sometimes you find you've learnt the wrong 'holy, holy' (seriously, there are about three songs in ONE BOOK that have that title!)
i think i've lost my train of thought. where was i?
anyway, all the feedback said the music sounded great (except for one moron who told me the piano was too quiet and i should play louder. he got growled at for trying to be funny while i was trying not to unleash a stream of neverending music-playing-hating abuse into the general atmosphere...) which is good. but i just felt... awful, angry, frustrated, depressed, did i mention angry?
at band practice i managed to explain that i NEED THE FLIPPING MUSIC AT THE LATEST ON WEDNESDAY AND THAT'S ONLY CAUSE I CAN TELL YOU OBVIOUSLY CAN'T SURVIVE BY YOUR WITS ALONE ...oops the subject makes me angry and i've been reading dilbert books... i meant it's obviously too much to ask for a full week, so i'll compromise by allowing for wednesday (even when they promise a full week i get it on tuesday if i'm lucky). i managed to say it calmly and hopefully non-confrontationally. but i was too stressed over it to use the usual diplomatic 'it's my problem not yours, but could you please help me with it?' tactic. cause in this case i really don't see why it's too much to ask. how come i'm the only one practicing anyway?! to me, not to practice would be disrespectful. but i guess they don't see it that way.
anyway, i managed to tell them in a mostly positive way, so hopefully they'll remember and be aware of my need for timely provision of the music, for the time being...
since i'm playing again this sunday coming, but with a different group of people, i thought it might be best to give advance warning rather than turn round afterwards and say 'the music is late, i'm not playing!' cause none of them was in church yesterday i had to send an email. i hate sending emails about stuff like this. it's much harder to tell whether it's coming across properly or not. i hope they don't take it the wrong way...
urgh, life is difficult sometimes. especially when you have a temper like mine and are supposed to be all loving and christian... you know, during the 'worship' (that's what the singing-songs part of the service is called) the band members are meant to be chanelling the holy spirit so that the congregation will be touched, according to the band leaders. while this is a worthy thought, the only spirit i tend to chanel is definitely not holy... i have to count it as a success when i manage to restrain myself from thumping the keys angrily during mellow songs after some new screw up... (so far i've always succeeded, but it's been a close thing every time)
Labels: churchy stuff, life, music, rant, temper
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