i'm a crazy welsh person (who grew up and lives in switzerland)

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

last week with children from hell

thursday night marion and dave went off to their swimming lesson, leaving me to babysit three little sleeping angels... er, no! caleb was sleeping, but tom and josh were wide awake, making me wish i were asleep having a nightmare so that i could just wake up from it!

first load of thumping
me: i heard thumping. what's going on?!
tom (in a very indignant voice): nothing! it's not us. it must have been in the kitchen
me: nope, it was definitely not downstairs. i think it was you
i stand there glaring at him for a while
tom (whiny, 'it wasn't me'): josh's in my bed
me (thinking why me?!): umm, what's he doing there???
tom: oh no, i was wrong, he's not in my bed
me: ok. so what's that lump at the end of your bed then?
tom: it's my teddy bear
i wander down to the end of the bed and tickle josh so he starts wriggling
me: your teddy bear moved! that's not normal teddy behaviour!
tom: i did it, it was my legs, wiggles his legs see, i did it again
i'm still tickling josh until he kind of sneezes/snorts/laughs
me: it snorted! surely teddy bears don't snort!
tom: it was me! makes a similar kind of noise see, me! i did it again!
so i carry on tickling until josh can't take it any more and comes out from under the covers

so i put josh back to bed and go back downstairs to my film (can't remember what it was). of course there's more thumping. but when i go back upstairs i can't find any incriminating evidence and of course they're back to pretending they're innocent, this time tom claims the neighbours must be making the noise.

the third time i go up i find josh has made a den in his bed by hanging up his welsh flag. we agree that since he's finished building his den he can now go to sleep in it and we'll forget about the whole thing.

but of course once again there's thumping. quite a few loud thumps this time. tom claims it was books falling out of his bed ??? why are books falling out of his bed??? but to tom this is a perfectly reasonable claim, when i question it he starts to get aggressive. gah! annoying brats!

in the end i just turned up the volume on the film and ignored all further thumping. brats!!! only good thing was that caleb slept through the whole kerfuffle.

second mare:
marion and dave went to church sunday evening after i stupidly offered to babysit so they could both go (you'd think i'd know better!). the kids were such (SUCH!!!) monsters!!!

started out, tom was in marion and dave's bed reading, josh was in tom's bed reading (there's a kind of cover on it so the light should have disturbed caleb less), and caleb was in his cot. first there was a load of thumping. both times i went up joshy had got out of bed to give caleb back his dummy.

the third time it was time for tom and josh to put the lights out, but caleb was hopping up and down in his cot, just generally being naughty. so i put josh in the playroom and made tom stay upstairs, which they both accepted, i was very grateful.

but then there were more noises: josh had crept upstairs into bed with tom. i said they could both stay if they promised to behave, so they promised. of course it didn't work... when i then asked who was going to sleep downstairs they both pointed to tom, so off we went to put him to bed in the playroom.

at this point i decided to just pretend to go back downstairs, made some thumping noises and then waited on the stairs. quite quickly i heard tom's bed squeak as he got out and then the loft floor started creaking and josh knocked something over... cause tom always pretends he was going to the loo i thought i'd let him get far enough that he couldn't pretend before i told him off. by this point i was furious though: marion and dave had been gone for 90minutes and i was only half an hour into the film!!! it sounded like josh had found a load of coins and kept dropping them on his way to the stairs :-S odd child...

josh seemed to have stopped at the top of the stairs and was playing with the coins when tom finally crept out of the room (proper creeping, all hunched up...). he was obviously about to head into their bedroom when he spotted me, straightened up, said 'i'm going to the toilet!' in a very defensive tone and marched off to the toilet. at which point i decided i'd had more than enough: i shouted up to josh to get back in bed right now or he'd be very, VERY sorry. 'oh, ok' goes josh... ;-)

when tom rushed out of the loo and back into the playroom i warned them: 'if i have to come back up here one more time, i WILL start yelling! and tom, i know you can yell loudly (oh, and how he loves to do so the spoilt brat), but i can yell sooooo much louder!!!' and went back downstairs.

five minutes later i can hear someone shouting for me! 'WHAT?' i realised it was caleb so i went in but he was snuggling into the covers, wouldn't answer me, so i went out again. at which point of course he goes 'water! water!' so i had to find a cup, filled it with water, with him yelling more insistantly by the second. get back and he refuses to drink it! then he points to the floor by the cot and goes 'water'... he was just confessing to having tipped his water... so i had to try and convince him that it was fine, that the water would dry...

of course every time i'd checked on caleb i'd had to check whether he'd taken off his nappy and weed in the cot (or through the bars) cause that's his favourite trick nowadays. luckily he didn't do it last night, i would have freaked!

well, after that i turned up the volume again and ignored them. that worked, by the time marion and dave got home they were all fast asleep. except josh was back in tom's bed :-S (tom was still in the playroom). musical beds!!! that'll teach me to offer to do extra babysitting!! monsters!!!

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