you'd think i'd learn my lesson. but no, obviously i am less intelligent than a rat!
chris booked the old park hill tavern for jenny's birthday and we played skittles. it was lots of fun. i'd never played it before so my aim was, not to miss the alley and hurt someone with the wooden ball (repeat: i was hoping no one would get hurt). so i was quite surprised when i was suddenly one of the last three left. so i exceeded expectations: no one got hurt (hurray!) and i came third! but then we played it again and i missed completely both times. beginner's luck... (the first time round, of course)
at twelve that place closed so we went to morph's again, which was also good fun. for some reason, around 2am one guy decided he wanted to have a barbeque at his place. so we all went there and he started barbequeing a load of beef in the rain. very random. i did ask why, but i think the answer was something like 'because we can'... odd french person ;-)
i'm not sure what time it was when the others decided it was time to go home. i'd guess somewhere between four and five in the morning. they said one of the guys lived near me, so i went with him. problem: he wanted to walk. so we walked for quite a while, with me assuming he knew where he was going. i didn't have a clue of course. i think they said we started off on gloucester road, but i wouldn't recognize that, i've only ever caught a taxi from there when i accidentally ended up there after wandering around drunk for an hour or two.
eventually our ways parted with alex wandering off one way and me staring blankly the other way. it wasn't his fault, i absolutely insisted i'd find home no problem, not to worry, and 'don't you dare walk me home, i'll be fine!' cause i didn't want him to have to go out of his way (and i did think i would be fine...)
i got sooooo lost! and this time i couldn't find a taxi and i didn't have a phone number for a taxi service. i wandered past the golden hill tesco's (twice, i think), all round horfield, past the memorial stadium, up and down wellington hill, up and down kellaway avenue and loads more...
i tried to get into a house that i thought was ours, it just looked slightly different. thank goodness the key didn't work and i didn't wake anyone!!! i've got a big scratch on my leg from where i took a shortcut across a football field and had to climb through a rather large patch of brambles to get onto it. they tried to stop me but i won! there was a really high fence the other side which i was very tempted to (try to) climb, but luckily there was i tiny bit of common sense that hadn't been drowned by the beer, so i walked along to the gate which was much lower and i was able to vault that. i did fall over trying to get to the gate and got completely covered in mud. my jeans had were covered in a layer of mud almost an inch thick...
at one point i got so tired that i decided i must
be home by now and that if i just waited a bit i'd wake up and i'd be home... but again the (admittedly minute amount of) common sense vetoed that and made me carry on walking.
at 7am the alarm on my phone went off while i was wandering through horfield. i think i broke into a run at that point... of course it didn't last. if i wasn't supposed to be somewhere i'd probably have carried on wandering all day, or randomly caught a bus somewhere (at about half past 7 a bus went past me, but there wasn't really time to wait for the next one and hope it went towards westbury). so around 7.45 i gave in and phoned jill, a) to tell her that i probably wouldn't make it to her house by 8.30 and b) to get her to work out where i was and how to get home from there... imagine her surprise 'i don't know where i am, there's this big round thing.' she thought it was a water tower, so i was on the downs 'i'm not on the downs. at least i don't think so. there are houses.' :-S gill looked the place up in the a-z (the thing turned out to be a gas container or something) and told me to walk towards gloucester road (just up the road from where i was) and she'd pick me up as soon as shed' sorted her kids out, tidied the house for the people coming to view it, got dressed... obviously it wasn't a good time for her. luckily her husband had a very clever idea so she phoned me up and gave me the number of a taxi company on gloucester road. i'd meant to ask her for a phone number for a taxi when i phoned, but i completely forgot (was still quite drunk).
so i made it home, came in the door to find tom standing there glaring at me 'where on earth have you been?!' i'd told the kids to come and wake me when they got up so that i wouldn't be late for volleyball, but of course i wasn't there...
i was soooo glad i'd packed my bag before i went out. i was able to just change out of the muddy stuff and scoff some cereal before gill picked me up. we weren't even late: we got there at nine o'clock exactly, and we were the first of our team to turn up!
i was very surprised, i actually played quite well, given that i was drunk and i'd been wandering around bristol for the previous three hours. cause there were only six of us i had to play the whole time. thank goodness the b&d league only plays best of 3 not 5 sets. but we actually managed to win one set and only just lost the third set, i think it was 13-15... so that was really good. it was probably because niall was playing for us. katrin'd twisted her ankle in training on wednesday and on friday night she managed to convince niall to stand in for her. he went home after the skittles though, so he was in a slightly better state than me or hannah who went home after morph's. i should have done that too, i've managed to find my way home from morph's before ;-)
driving back from the match was quite funny cause i kept saying 'ooh, i wandered along this road.' and 'i remember that petrol station/fish'n'chip shop/xxx' and gill and hannah would say 'oh no, what were you doing here, you must have walked along this road'. yep i walked up and down this road, that road and the other road...
the worst thing was walking to the church from gill's house afterwards (i couldn't find my key and marion and dave were there having joshy's birthday party). on the road that church is on, so five minutes from church, 20 minutes from home, i came across a bus stop that looked scarily familiar: i was there! i'd looked at the timetable on the other side of the road and not been able to make sense of it and wandered off in the wrong direction!!! noooooooooo!!!
so quite clearly i must in future remember the one big important rule for vicky's survival: never ever walk home!!! if i add any qualifications to the rule (such as 'alone' or 'when drunk') it won't work, cause i'll just go 'i'm not drunk, it's fine!' or 'i'm only alone for the last bit, i'll manage that'. so from now on it's no more wandering the streets of bristol for me!
dave says from the sounds of it i was never more than half 3 miles or so from home. i just kept going the wrong way... how awful :-\
oh no, i've just remembered: my brand new shoes
are covered in mud!!! wahhhh!!!
Labels: drinking, getting lost, i'm special, volleyball